I'm Deathly Obese

I'm deathly obese.  

Physically, I'm overweight- but that's not the type of obesity I'm talking about.  I've become obese in many other ways:  materially, relationally, spiritually and I'm learning that it's slowly and subtly taking away my life.  

Materially, God has given me many gifts: a family who loves me, more food than I've ever needed, a warm and safe home to every day of my life.  God gave me enough intelligence to take care of myself.  He placed people in my life who cared about me enough to push me to get an education.  Doing so helped me get good jobs throughout my career which allowed me to earn enough money to have a good life. I've been blessed with physical health.  Being born in America in the mid-60's placed me at an age where I was not asked nor required to fight in a foreign conflict, which shielded my time and my body for other pursuits.  

All this blessing has given me more time and energy than most to focus on myself, to acquire things for my comfort, and to seek work that fulfills my desires, and build a life that is probably more complicated than it should be.

I am blessed to have many relationships, but they are often not the right kind; it's kind of like the way we measure cholesterol. I can have a healthy overall cholesterol number but still live in danger because I have too much bad cholesterol (LDL - low density lipoprotein) and not enough good cholesterol (HDL - high density lipoprotein.)   I have far too many LDRs (low density relationships) meaning, we know each other - sort of, we smile, we wave, ask how the family is, we often say we're getting to get together for a lunch or coffee but somehow it doesn't seem to happen.  I have a lot of Low Density Relationships; it's those HDRs (High Density Relationships) I lack.  Those people who know me "deep unto deep" and who call me to be a better person.  The sad thing is that I have access to those who can pour into me and I into them, but I often find myself settling for too many LDRs.

I was raised in The Church.  My grandfather was an Elder.  My grandmother took me and my sister to Sunday school almost every week as children.  I spent summers attending Christian camp as a middle-schooler.  I was intercepted by Korean missionaries during my wandering college years.  I've been a part of a great local church for over 16 years and every week I have access to some of the best teachers and speakers in the world.  I've seen thousands of people come to Christ and be baptized.  I've seen in others and experienced personally, God's miracles.  

It seems I've been dining at a Spiritual all-you-can-eat buffet all my life.

Spiritually satiated, I sometimes forget that there are countless others who are hungry, who have not had the same access to the banquet I've enjoyed.  In my obesity, I sometimes lack righteous enthusiasm and energy to bring others to the table.

I'm fat and I need to shed a lot of weight.  I'm praying God will give me the courage to lose these extra pounds so that I can become fit enough to do the work He has in store for me and live the life He intended for me.