I'm Deathly Obese

I'm deathly obese.  

Physically, I'm overweight- but that's not the type of obesity I'm talking about.  I've become obese in many other ways:  materially, relationally, spiritually and I'm learning that it's slowly and subtly taking away my life.  

Materially, God has given me many gifts: a family who loves me, more food than I've ever needed, a warm and safe home to every day of my life.  God gave me enough intelligence to take care of myself.  He placed people in my life who cared about me enough to push me to get an education.  Doing so helped me get good jobs throughout my career which allowed me to earn enough money to have a good life. I've been blessed with physical health.  Being born in America in the mid-60's placed me at an age where I was not asked nor required to fight in a foreign conflict, which shielded my time and my body for other pursuits.  

All this blessing has given me more time and energy than most to focus on myself, to acquire things for my comfort, and to seek work that fulfills my desires, and build a life that is probably more complicated than it should be.

I am blessed to have many relationships, but they are often not the right kind; it's kind of like the way we measure cholesterol. I can have a healthy overall cholesterol number but still live in danger because I have too much bad cholesterol (LDL - low density lipoprotein) and not enough good cholesterol (HDL - high density lipoprotein.)   I have far too many LDRs (low density relationships) meaning, we know each other - sort of, we smile, we wave, ask how the family is, we often say we're getting to get together for a lunch or coffee but somehow it doesn't seem to happen.  I have a lot of Low Density Relationships; it's those HDRs (High Density Relationships) I lack.  Those people who know me "deep unto deep" and who call me to be a better person.  The sad thing is that I have access to those who can pour into me and I into them, but I often find myself settling for too many LDRs.

I was raised in The Church.  My grandfather was an Elder.  My grandmother took me and my sister to Sunday school almost every week as children.  I spent summers attending Christian camp as a middle-schooler.  I was intercepted by Korean missionaries during my wandering college years.  I've been a part of a great local church for over 16 years and every week I have access to some of the best teachers and speakers in the world.  I've seen thousands of people come to Christ and be baptized.  I've seen in others and experienced personally, God's miracles.  

It seems I've been dining at a Spiritual all-you-can-eat buffet all my life.

Spiritually satiated, I sometimes forget that there are countless others who are hungry, who have not had the same access to the banquet I've enjoyed.  In my obesity, I sometimes lack righteous enthusiasm and energy to bring others to the table.

I'm fat and I need to shed a lot of weight.  I'm praying God will give me the courage to lose these extra pounds so that I can become fit enough to do the work He has in store for me and live the life He intended for me.

Why Not Now?

What am I waiting for?  If not now, when will I ...

....make a real difference at my workplace?

... call that friend I've been meaning to call?

... help someone else with their dream?

... give more generously?

... talk with my daughter on her terms?

... lose that extra 10?

... visit my sister and her family?

... remind my wife how beautiful she is?

... get on my knees and pray?

photo credit: John-Morgan via photopin cc

5000 Silkworms Gone From My Closet

Today I'm simplifying my wardrobe.  I've amassed a pretty huge collection of various clothing items, many of which I haven't worn for years but have kept "just in case." I will be bringing 31 neckties to Goodwill Industries of Michiana today.  I'll be donating the effort of over 5000 silkworms.

8 neckties will remain, "just in case."

I've Decided ... Oh, Wait ...

We like choices ... don't we?  I mean, isn't it great that every time I go to my favorite restaurant for breakfast I get so many choices:

• Coffee (mild or bold, with cream or without) or Tea (4 varieties with or without sugar, lemon, or cream.)
• Eggs - over-easy, over-hard, poached, or scrambled (with ketchup or hot sauce.)
• Toast or Pancake - White, wheat, whole grain or Challah (with jelly or without)
• Potatoes - hash browns or seasoned cubes.
• Bacon or Sausage (links or patties, chicken or vegetarian.)
• Orange juice, grapefruit juice, tomato juice, or water.

My quick math says there are well over a 1000 combinations available to me for my simple breakfast.

Choices can be fun and they help me get the tasty foods I desire.  But there are some interesting things I've learned about having too many choices.


Chip Heath, a professor of organizational behavior at the graduate school of business at Stanford university and co-author of Made to Stick. cited a study about choice and the sales of jelly in a grocery store. A table was set out offering 25 flavors of jelly for a week. Many people stopped by to visit the table and few sales were made. The next week, same store, same table, 6 flavors were on display. Fewer people stopped by, but sales of jelly were 10 times greater.

Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice: Why Too Many Options Lead to Dissatisfaction (check out his TED talk - 19 minutes) tells us that many choice options lead to consumer paralysis, mental confusion, and regret about possibly having made the wrong choice. The result? No choice at all or extremely heightened dissatisfaction with our choice.

In life and business, we often create unnecessary complexity for the sake of being able to offer or enjoy many choices. Ironically, these choices can promote customer (or our own) dissatisfaction. Perhaps the best choice we can make is to simplify.

Distilled

There are over 2.8 billion Christians on the planet and over 41,000 denominations.  Over the course of my life, I've been a part of a few of those.  My wife was raised and we were married in the Roman Catholic Church, I was reared in The First Church of Christ. I've also attended Korean, Apostolic, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Baptist, Wesleyan, and Non-Denominational Evangelical Churches.  I've been a part of the United Methodist Church for the past 16 years.  My experiences with all the denominations have been very positive - each showing me a new and beautiful facet or expression of the Christian Faith.

And while exposure to those expressions were very helpful to me, over the course of my Spiritual journey,  I sometimes found myself confused.  I had many Spiritual questions and the answers were often complicated by the tenets of a particular denomination. 

The people of Jesus' society had many rules and complex regulations about how people should live in order to be right with God.  I'm sure many of them were overwhelmed by the complexity of living out First-Century Judaism.  

The Bible tells the story of a religious leader, an expert in the Law, who queried Jesus:

Matthew 22: 36-40

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Jesus distilled religious complexity in a way that only He could. 

Love God.
Love Others.

There are many other beautiful tenets, expressions, and nuances of the Christian Faith, but sometimes it's really helpful for me to just remember the basics. 

Love God.
Love Others.

Simple.

It's Complicated

I don't know about you, but my life has become very complicated.  

I'm not sure exactly how or when is became this way, but I'm pretty sure I'm the one who is responsible.  I've constructed a life that requires my constant attention, an elaborate network of people, businesses, systems, structures, processes, and devices - all designed to enable my complex lifestyle.

My network has become a net; not a safety net mind you, but more of a net that's used to tangle up animals.  

Exhibit A:  My Lawn

I own a fair-sized home with a larger lawn.  My lawn is not huge, but it is big enough that it requires a lawn tractor so I can mow it in a reasonable amount of time.  With the tractor, I can mow my lawn in about an hour, but it requires time in other ways.  I fill it with gasoline, change the oil and filter, sharpen the blades, lubricate the bearings, change the belts and spark plugs.  In the winter I remove the battery, change the oil, and add fuel stabilizer to protect it and, after I rearrange my entire garage, I can store it away until the next Spring.

The tractor is not all my lawn requires.  I also need a push mower to get smaller areas my tractor cannot reach.  The push mower requires all the same maintenance as the tractor.  And still, my push mower cannot accomplish the detail that my gas-powered string trimmer and edger provide.  I must care for them, too.

  

I have to keep my lawn looking great in order to maintain the value of my home and to fulfill the covenants in my subdivision.  To do that, I must water and fertilize my lawn.  So, I maintain the sprinkler system, carefully adjusting and replacing the heads and setting timers in the Spring.  In the Winter, I pay someone to blow out the lines so that the sprinkler system doesn't explode from freezing. I pay a nice guy named Bob to do that.

During the Summer months I pay a company to add fertilizer six times a year.  They always want me to buy grub killer.  I don't know why.

Because my lawn is well watered and fertilized, it grows fast.  And so I have to mow it 2 or 3 times per week in the Summer. This generates six, 55-gallon bags of grass clippings each week.  My neighborhood asks that all clippings be bagged and disposed of through a special curbside pick up service, for which I pay a premium.  I drag the heavy the bags out to the end of my driveway every Sunday evening.  If I forget, I miss a pickup and the grass clipping ferment, creating an ammonia stench that can be smelled for great distances.

Now, let me tell you about my pool ...   ; -)

I'm blessed to have been given so much to care for.  Really.  And honestly, there was a time when I loved taking care of my lawn.  But I think it's time for me to simplify some things.  I've had my run at complex living, but now it's starting to make me a little weird.  And who wants that?

Over the course of this blog, I'll be figuring out ways to make my life a little more simple.  I'll be figuring out ways to carve out white space so that I can think again, spend more time with family and friends, and most of all, find more time to spend with God.  I hope you'll join me on my adventure.  Feel free to comment and encourage along the way.  It's going to be simply amazing.

- Butch