I Need to Get Pregnant

I have a lot to say, and my tendency is to say it.  Yep, I can dish out all the advice you can possibly eat, dominate the discussion, toss out a clever saying, factoid, or humorous quip.  I can readily pull out a bible story or something I read in the news.  I am a fast verbal processor, so I can produce voluminous prattle.  I'm loud, too.  God gave me a really loud voice so I can speak louder than you and make sure I am heard.

That's a big problem for you if you have something to say in my presence.

I've learned it's an even bigger problem for me.

I've been working on that a lot, but even still, I mess up.  I did that yesterday with a group of men I meet with semi-regularly to talk about the Faith and about life.  The guy who leads our group is one of the most Christ-like people I know.  He tossed a question to me and that was all the permission I needed to unleash my thoughts on the group.  Because they are really good and Godly men, they just sat there listening and let me go on and on ... and on.

I've been in sales all my life and I know better:  "He who talks the least, wins."

I carry an iPhone with me and it has a cool stopwatch application.  I think I'm going to start pressing it every time I start talking.  I know I'm going to be embarrassed by what I find.  I'm pretty sure I'm not the person at the table who talks the least.

I've learned over my years that there's a goldmine of Wisdom inside those God has placed in my life and I just need to listen to what He has to say to me through them.  Sometimes I need to be more active in mining that gold:

"What was it like when you ... ?"
"How do you go about .... ?"
"What are your thoughts on ... ?"
"Tell me more about ...?"

If my part of the conversation is mostly asking questions, the math should work out that I am the person who talks least.  Where I get in trouble is when I ask a question and then .... and then ... silence.

Silence in a conversation can be really uncomfortable.  It doesn't seem natural and so I tend to fill the void with my voice.

But a void in a conversation can be really good.

In sales they call it a "pregnant pause."  You ask the client a question, and you wait, and you wait, and you wait ... until they speak.  Because it can be so awkward, in my opinion, it's one of the hardest communication skills to master.  I need to become a master at being "pregnant."

"Be still and know that I am God." - Psalm 46:10