Carrots, Sticks, Persuasions, and Manipulations

As a salesperson and marketer, much of my job involves moving others to action.  In short, I'm paid to get people to say, "yes" to my requests.  You probably do too, at least in some way.  If you're an HR director, you might say or do things in order to get that promising new recruit to join your company.  If you're a line supervisor, there's probably been a few times you've asked people to stay late or work harder.  If you're sitting across the table from me as a buyer, you are probably remunerated if you can get me to say, "yes" to your request for a lower price for my company's services.  If you're a stay-at-home parent, getting your 2-year-old to start using the toilet might eliminate the cost of diaper bills.

Getting others to say, "yes" to your personal requests is called persuasion.  There are proven psychological principles associated with persuasion.  These include:

• Reciprocity:  People to whom you give a gift, feel inclined to give you one back.
• Scarcity:  People want what you offer when they think there is not enough to go around.
• Authority:  People will respond to you if they believe you are a knowledgeable, credible expert.
• Consistency:  People want to be consistent in their behavior, so small actions lead to larger ones.
• Liking:  People say, "yes" more often to people they like than to those they don't.
• Consensus:  People look to the behavior of others to determine their own behavior.

Here's a great video that explains these principles (12 min:)  The Science of Persuasion

In his book, Start with Why  Simon Sinek describes what he calls "manipulations" used by companies to get people to buy their products and services:

• Price: Companies lower their prices to get people to buy.
• Promotions: Companies offer deals and incentives.
• Fear: Companies create or exacerbate fear and uncertainty to move people to action.
• Aspirations:  Companies offer things people desire to become.
• Peer Pressure - "4 out of 5 dentists recommend …"
• Novelty (Innovation):  New equals better.

I've experienced persuasions and manipulations from organizations and individuals.  Perhaps you have, too.  Some of these have been carefully planned and crafted to alter my behavior, but most have been far less intentional.  Persuasion (and a little manipulation) happens as a natural part of human interaction.  For me, that's mostly OK - it's not a relational deal-breaker by any means.  I would rather live in a society that utilizes persuasion and manipulation as a social control mechanism than one that relies on coercion.  (That is, in a "the carrot or the stick" scenario, I prefer the carrot.)

I want positive change in my life and often that requires some form of help from others.  But when I look back at the times I've been persuaded, manipulated, or even coerced, the results have been short-lived.  I revert back to my old tendencies once I've figured out that a tactic has been used.  For me, if you want me to do something that changes my behavior for good, that gets me "All-In," that makes me your loyal advocate, you'll need to inspire me.